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Before you rush off booking churches, deciding on venues and asking your best friend to be bridesmaid it’s really worth sitting down to decide what your idea of a ‘perfect wedding’ is going to be like. Everybody has their own view (as you will find out soon enough!) but actually the day is about you and your partner.

When deciding on the date, we were careful to avoid major sporting fixtures as we did not want the sports fanatics amongst our guests smuggling radios into the marriage service or disappearing during the reception to find a TV.

I also bought a scrapbook and stuck in all the pictures of wedding dresses, bouquets, table arrangements, tiaras, hairstyles, cakes etc that I liked. This was how I was able to build up a picture of how my perfect wedding would look.

The other thing I did was to cook a nice meal for just the two us, and we talked about whether it was going to be a small intimate wedding or a big affair, church or registry office, at home or on a beach somewhere.

I wanted to be sure what we both wanted before we opened up the discussion to the wider family.

I knew I wanted a traditional white wedding and my fiancé was happy with that – his only stipulations were that he didn’t want to wear a top hat, and wanted his oldest friend as best man. We both wanted a sit down meal and an evening reception and were keen on having a disco. I was determined to travel to the church in a horse and carriage (a childhood fantasy) and I wanted enough money left to be able to afford a very special honeymoon.

So once you’re absolutely clear in your own minds what you would both like, what are ‘must haves’ (horse and carriage for me), and what you really don’t want (no top hats for him) what you are happy to compromise on (definitely wanted a sit down meal but realised numbers may have to be restricted) then we were able to talk to our parents .

My fiancé and I, armed with the knowledge of what we did and didn’t want, met up with my parents and his parents for a meal in a local pub. We deliberately chose a neutral venue as we didn’t want anyone to feel at a disadvantage, particularly as we knew the question of who was paying for what would come up too.

The meal with the families was great – it was lovely talking weddings and interesting to hear all the different suggestions that were made, but I felt in control because I was clear about our priorities. I was really pleased my fiancé and I had spent time just together deciding what it was we wanted. My day wasn’t being hijacked It was still feeling like my ‘perfect wedding’

I urge you to talk together and decide what your perfect day is going to be like, before you do anything else.