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Traditionally the bride’s father used to pay for everything, but things have changed. Nowadays, both sets of parents, and the bride and groom themselves, often contribute towards the wedding.

Working out who’s paying for what, and how much, can be a bit tricky as people have very different views on money and how it should be spent. They have varying incomes and this can be a sensitive matter. Falling out about money is the last thing you will want and the approach we took worked really well.

Invite the family members who will be contributing towards the wedding costs out for a drink or a meal at a neutral venue, letting them know in advance that you wish to discuss the wedding plans. That way they will get the opportunity to discuss between themselves how much they can afford, and what they are prepared to pay for, before you all get together.

Once we knew how much money we had to spend we were able to work out budgets for each area of the wedding. I attach a budget spreadsheet we created; it’s really easy to use and was brilliant for giving us a realistic idea of costs and also keeping us on target.

Click here to download the budget spreadsheet (Microsoft Excel format)

The first column to fill in is the ‘guestimate column’. By filling in this column you will start getting a feel for just how much it will all cost and whether you are on track budget wise. Ask around to get a rough idea of costs so that the figures you type in are fairly accurate. Fill in all the little incidental costs, adding additional headings as appropriate to you. Remember it’s these small amounts that can all add up and take you way over budget.

Once you have typed in all your costs you will see the total cost at the bottom of the column. How does that compare to your budget? Are you surprised how much it all costs? Have you gone a bit ‘over the top’ with your ideas? Are your parents willing to contribute any more? Do you and your partner need to save up more money?

Your ‘perfect wedding’ doesn’t have to break the bank. Look at each cost and see what can be reduced. Don’t cut back on the things that would really mean a lot to you – make your compromises around those things that you and your partner feel are less important.

Keep changing the figures in your ‘guestimate’ column (making sure the figures are realistic) until the total is within your budget. When you are satisfied that these are the costs and they are within budget then use this as your guide. Once you start paying for things or getting firm costs put the figures in the ‘actual’ cost column and that way you can keep a track of your spending. Keep a close eye on the blue column – are you over or under budget and by how much? If you find yourself going over budget try and rein in the spending before it gets out of control.

I hope you find this budget calculator useful – we certainly didn’t get any nasty surprises. Feel free to email it to your friends.